wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
