just tell him i said nine months
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
