he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
