btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
