i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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