Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
