forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So vagazzling was a success
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
