He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
