I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
