SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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