Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
