You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize