Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
