she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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