i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
