hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
