uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
