do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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