u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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