batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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