Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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