I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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