it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
