sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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