i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
