So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
