Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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