You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
