so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
