1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
