i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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