we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
