Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Life is so much better after having sex.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
