Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
