You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
