glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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