I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
