Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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