Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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