i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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