I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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