well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
