Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
