Whod you bang
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's blow job season.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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