Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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