you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He shit in the fireplace
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
