I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
