We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
