When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
