Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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