Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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